Saturday, 3 April 2010

sometimes i think m so out of place.
i feel seperated by my cultures
i dont understand how i can be like this but not like that
i dont even know myself
if this is me or just a brain washed freak created by society
i dont understand change
i dont understand life
i just want to feel happy and content

this is the plan for my future
i am going to set off to japan after my uni finishes and try to get a cute japanese accent hopefully like AOI YUS. then perhaps venture the art world there and the music scene and go traveling around the country side and make friends with all the old folks. then find a japanese guy who works in a vintage store in japan haha and marry him and definately live by the country side with such greenery green green green everywhere, no tv no computer nothing just mother nature and beautiful scenery, go picnics in the summer by all the sakura trees and a river then sit and admire my life whilst eating sweet potato you could even fish in the river and make sushi lol and have a kid be a good mother love my kid so god damn much it will hate me haha. i actually really want to be a good mother i think my mind is too old for my age people my age just want to party have drugs have sex but i always think abt my future this is what i want you know. i really want to be a good parent because maybe somewhere in me i feel a little unloved by my parents. so maybe i just want to give all my love to this kid thats my own that will always love me unconditionally i think that is my goal in life at the end . i dont care for people who find it a boring life perhaps cause to me it will be content i dont want extreme i want peacefully happy you know that feeling when its just like aaaaaaah yes that.