where m i going?
yesterday i fought with mom late at night. somehow i feel sorry for my mum. because i guess its not her fault. still i feel guilty everytime i am angry at her. and i feel like i am stuck but no one can really understand where i am coming from because really there are things occuring in my life in my mind that you cant even imagine.i have a dream for my future though. i really want to live in paris for a while as a artist i am thinkign after i finish my degree i will do that and maybe new york aswell just for life experience maybe all over the world :)
i feel tempted to make movies about my dreams because they are soo bizarreee it would be a form of art itself. haha yesterday for example i dreamt i was a bride to this punjabi but then i fell in love with some eng guy who has a baby and lives above this shopping centre and i ran away with him but at the end the punjabi guy finds us and they both fight but another punjabi guy comes and puts a sword inside my eng guys stomach and hes like dying so i get the sword and die aswell. yes very romeo and juliet yeaa i am such a romance ahum :D. but this dream of mine was set as a bollywood movie and there were slowmotion running and singing. i mean what is thatt? :D i love dreams its like the gateway to all impossibility becoming possible.
i found this really dainty yet creepy song actually i think the meaning behind it seems quite interesting!! being a army is probably a really proud and manly thing for a guy right but actually sometimes i feel sad for my dad hes a ex army now when i look at him he looks so sad like he has given up hope for life, you know that was his life for so many years it was all he knew and now its like he has nothing, just cut off from everything he believed in in the world he existed i think its preeeety sad. and now he looks like hes waiting to die in a dead end job only to be filled with children and wife that detests him. i mean i dont detest him butt we have our issues when i do see him that is i mean i maybe see him once in a blue moon and even then we argue sigh*. i am sorry dad.