Wednesday, 19 January 2011

these are some of the work scans i have been doing in my sketchbook! well i had done at the begining but then for a while i went on a slump like literaly a big FAT SLUMP!! i felt so uncreative dead! there were toooo many things in my personal life affecting my mind like i actually felt like a zombie. i always used to wonder what space was like? u know eternal black going on and going on and on where does it end?? and in my mind it felt like that it never ended it was just black and dark and depressing!!. but nowww i dont know if its the lovely sunshine or just how i started thinking, like seeing reality i feel really inspired really motivated i want to do well. so i said to my self "sanjita you can do this" i mean really what the fuck m i doing?? REALLY??

i want to create masterpieces you know something meaningfull something to change the world even to change nepal actually i have become really like i want to make art so nepal can be proud that sort of thought crept into me just because i feel as if nepal is so looked down from other countries no one even thinks of it as anything its so ignored and where is all the creativity i meet all these creative nepalese people yet we dont really have a say for nepal do we?? but i will change this somehow someway.

i thought how stupid to give up on all my dreams just because i couldnt get over some problems. fuck it if its like this then so let it be but i wont let it beat me ill keep on doing what i love and ill keep on striving for art because i know how much i loved it and how this was the only thing that i could do this was the only thing that was mine you know. like from my parents who were sooooooo obsesed with making me a doctor and i fought sooo much i gave up everything i risked it all to do art and in my culture art is like ha! art u studying art oh such a dos subject!! but i never cared for their stupid opinionss they are just loosers of society! hmph and i know they sort of look down on me before they would be like ohh shes studying to be doctor ohhhh wooooow and now its oh art. haha but i love it and really i realised i am the luckiest nepalese girl to be able to do art cause most parents are so strict towards girls.

and now look at me not even achieving anything wasting my days. it made me sick seeing how pathetic i am. looking at myself in the mirror what happened to all that passion sanjita?? but you know i will keep on fighting i dont care until i am dead ill do what i want to do ill live my life ill create amazing art wrks if not in others eyes then in mine as long as i can express my feelings my opinions my art ill be happy. :) because i can do this and i believe in myself and i know i can do something amazing if i just put my mind to it and work hard and focus on this rather then other unnecessary crap in my life :) thank you