having lost my phone i have been walking around emptyy for a month even more!! paying the bills without a cause. its excellent for the poverty couldnt have sunk any deeper that i am paying for AIR its excellent. but sometimes i think about all these things that we are attached to the gadgets, cigarrettes, the unnecessary items shopping extensive amounts of clothes that could possibly cover the whole of nepal (my home country). and i wish i could be a monk in a empty space without any materialisms, judgements or any trends any voices any people, without the influencce of internet and fashion blogs, fashion people, its something i do love, fashion, well i like to dress like a granma most of the time a hippie granma but these days i feel i am loosing that inner granma, i am becoming a source of society i am becoming just a piece of dust floating with everybody else. ofcourse who does not admire people with good fashion a sleek look sophistication or just their beauty but i wish there was no such thing as defining beauty, everyone have their own opinion over it but we all know when someone is beautiful they are beautiful, its just something thats already sunk inside our brain, so i wonder if to animals who have completely different features to us would the beautifulest person be considered beautiful in their eyes? why would a human look preety to elephants?? but you know beauty is so just beauty. i find ugly things more interesting.
then i was looking at the story about stars in bbc and everybody knows how big the universe is but my curiosity cant help but wonder how far does it go ITS SOMETHING I AM HUGELY HUGELY FASCINATED BY!!! then it talks about how sun is at its medium age so after 5 billion or so it will get huge and join red star and destroy everything in its path as it balloons up. then it made me think alot of things maybe it was unnecessary because clearly we will be dead by 5 billion years so we wont even witness such events altho i think about all the people in history who are remebered now who are talked about and the things they have done to be a hero or a villian or shape the country etc egypt and the tombs how so many slavess were tortured to make those tombs so that the pharoes never got forgotton. but someday it will all become irrelevant because there will be no earth or people to carry on these stories so sometimes it makes me think all those wars and deaths and pains were so unnecessary why couldnt we have just enjoyed the beautiful time we have left together, average human wud probably die by 80 90 maybe, even that is like one day in the world of sun. alsoo i think what if this event is reoccuring so it keeps on happening in a loop and there were other people in another earth that all vanished because of the sun and then after it died another sun came and everything happened again, because it is possible for universe to just repeat events since its space is so infinite it will have to repeat at some point there is only a minimum amount of elements. aniways i enjoy such thoughts.butt it would be cool if i could see the outer space someday in the future!!!
the next geeky topic i have too shout out about is the anime ATTACK OF THE TITANS.
this gives the same feeling i get when i watch naruto the tenseeee feeelinggg the excitement the oooo aaa! and god damn it when is the next episode coming!!!! but its even more vulgar since there is so many humans limbs and head poping all the guts and blood splurting about. but the story line is extremely interesting and you can reallyyyy feel the pain of loosing one of the people you have got close with obviously all their work mates it must be terrible seeing so many die in front of you. the titans are these hugeeeee creatures that are kind of like dumb, run around naked and they dont speak or say anything just waddle around trying to find humans to eat, but the wierd thing is they do not have anyyy digestion system they dont have a butt or anything down there so they basicaly eat the humans for no purpose which is still a mystery as its only gone up to ep 18 now and they just eat the humans and puke them out. although there are other stronger and higher titans that have more powerssss and breaks the walls that humans build to keep them away. expect many coooooool movess and coooool people and i cried soo you might cry haha. but i do not want to give all the plot away!!! you have too watch it for your selfff.
and i love this character levi he is sooo charming when he fights because he is the best buttt then he is a clean freak ahhh so cute.
sorry it is a very long post but thank you if youve read this far. goodbyex