Friday, 6 December 2013

hello world
are you der

i m alwaysss feeling guilty
guilty to the people i hurt
to the people i abandon
to my mother
to my father
to my sisters
to my lover

i feel forever alone and forever guilty even when everyone is around me i feel so odd so like this is not where i belong, and everything m forcing my smiles my laughs my talks my words, i wonder if this is actually me cause i come home and i sob about the terrible day yet i was laughing all day. i dont understand if i am deceiving myself theres no point talking to any friends even if i tell them my feelings its like i am lying. no one can help me and thats a fact, and i am weak and thats another fact, i am sorry mother father sisters love of mine i am so weak, and my heart is breaking living in this world with a lier like me and liers like the whole world, cant you just let me go. let me go somewhere i can be at peace i can be numb and just not know of anything not feel not think i can just be at peace. this was not meant for me.

i am forever guilty

i hope you can forgive me when the time comes.