Friday, 22 April 2016

dear blog

  i am here to write so i must have something wrong. these days i keep getting anxiety problems since my time is nearly finishing in korea, i don't know if i should stay or go, everything is so good here so good money my life is so comfortable, i don't have to pay for rent!!!! thats the biggest plus butt i dunno why i do not feel like this is what i am meant to be doing... i love my children i really do but i don't feel like korea is my home. i feel like i want to be a hippie i have always been a hippie but korea won't let me be hippie it constraints me through the ideology of its society, i am finding the more i stay here the more i am changing! honestly this isn't who i am, but why m i pretending and why m i afraid to be who i am i don't understand.

 these days i don't know what to do or think about i don't know what is my passion and i feel even if i want to learn so many things i cannot because of the language barrier in korea i just can't communicate i feel like a kid every time i need someone to hold my hand and take me everywhere. that sucks anyways i think my heart is broken. why i dunno.

i want to be more creative work in a creative field and also lately i realised my english has gone so bad that i literarily dunno the words that are coming out of my mouth. and none of them make any sense grammatically its because i have been speaking in broken basic english so people can understand me but i didn't think this would actually ruin my own english whyyyyy i don't think i will get a job in uk hahaha.

its funny when i was in uk i always wanted to leave that country and now m so far away and surrounded by such different culture i am finding to miss england so much even all the annoying things i miss it. i even miss silly things like sainsburys my uk food store.

i think i know probably well maybe i will go back to uk.